3 Things That People Don’t Realize Make Relationships Work


Many men wonder why it seems like every relationship they have falls apart.

What’s the real reason their relationship didn’t last? No one can know for sure.

But what us men can do is help each other out with what we’ve learned from our past relationships.

In hopes of maintaining and thriving in the next one.

My 3 tips are based off of a following observations that I’ve noticed while in my own relationships with women.

First, I feel like all the women I’ve been with have been attractive. And the ones who thought I was hotter than them always treated me better. But women who suddenly believed they were better than me would be rude and disrespectful.

Second, women like to feel dangerous and they like to feel loved. And sometimes we aren’t able to supply that (I recommend you fix it asap).

I’ve experienced stressful times which has caused me impotence and displaced attention. Experiencing these moments of weakness have revealed to me more about the real nature of sex and emotional attachment in regards to women.

Third, is something I’m sure most men go through and will understand. It’s a bit of basic social dynamics that everyone might find useful to apply to any kind of relationship.

Here are 3 things that people don’t realize make relationships work.

1) Be Perceived Hotter Than the Girl

This one applies to the man of the relationship.

If you’ve ever noticed relationships where the woman ranks higher on a scale of 1 to 10 than the man, then you’ve noticed that often the woman will talk down on her boyfriend in front of other people.

It’s a cringeworthy sight to witness. I always feel sorry for the guy before having to force myself to look away.

We all like to push boundaries, but women love pushing boundaries.

However, a woman is less likely to push boundaries when she feels that her man is hotter than her.

She’ll have respect for him if he maintains those boundaries. And it’s easier for him to maintain these boundaries when he’s a 7.5 and she’s a 7.

If you feel like you’re slipping below her then you should get to work and level-up.

Men get points for having a physique, money, interests, hobby’s, you name it.

It also doesn’t hurt to be more charismatic and socialize.

Social validation can even make you feel hotter than your girl.

So long as the girl in the relationship feels that you are ‘hotter’ than her, the relationship can maintain a sense of stability.

Because a rational leader will keep things more stable than an arbitrary one.

All the remaining works best if you’re perceived to be hotter than her in the relationship.

Good-willed men typically empower those under his wing.

Women don’t typically take the lead, so they have a habit of shaming and disrespecting men followers for not taking their place as lead.

Just do your best to be in a sexier position than her physically, financially, mentally, etc., etc., it only helps.

2) Sex & Cuddles

Yes, cuddles are nearly as important as sex.

You know what an ‘attention-deprived’ (strong quotations) woman’s favorite part of cheating on her man?

Its laying in bed with her ‘other man’ while you’re out handling your business doing what needs to be done to support you and her.

It’s an ugly thought, isn’t it?

Well the part where you lay in bed with your girl right after sex is probably the most important part for her emotional connection with you.

I know, I know. Just like you I get impatient lying in bed with her getting comfy under my arm, feeling like nothing is happening.

I’m sure you’re thinking something along the lines of:

“… I got shit to do…”

Here’s a new way to think of it.

A girlfriend requires 2-4 hours of your undivided attention per week.

Lying in bed with her after a good round is the BEST time to do it.

She needs your full, undivided attention on a regular basis. And if it’s not you, then it’s going to be someone else.

So do it.

As for sex, I’ll keep this part brief:

Balance out selfish, crazy, all-for-you sex and tender-to-crazy she-finishes sex.

Foreplay is part of sex too, do it. Make noise. Talk dirty. Get nasty and/or dangerous.

She’s human too, a sexual being, people fail to mention that you having some size and her finishing are also vital.

I’ve seen advice  that tells you to not even think about her pleasure at all.

That’s stupid.

She wouldn’t even want to have sex with you if she didn’t think you could pleasure her.

Please her physically by finishing her. Please her mentally/emotionally by using her body and being selfishly wild. Balance.

If you guys aren’t having sex at least two times a week – something’s wrong.

3) Marginalizing your partner is losing a relationship.

This goes for both people in the relationship.

Marginalizing your partner means making your partner feel less important than something else.

Think of it like a simple dynamic. There’s you and there’s her.

Now add another thing into the dynamic. It can be a hobby, an idea, work, etc. Ideally it isn’t another person.

If you treat the third thing as if it’s more important than your partner, she’s going to manifest bad feelings towards it and you.

Hopefully she’ll voice herself in these cases.

If she treats the third thing as if it’s more important than you, chances are, you aren’t going to like it either.

The best thing to do is make her feel included. Ask for her input or a bit of help, maybe make her a part of it.

And if you must, just explain to her that it’s something you need to do.

Voice yourself clearly and make sure that she understands.

This doesn’t apply to people. For example:

Don’t facilitate her getting close to any guy.

You essentially want to cockblock, and given the status you two have together, no one will say a damn thing.

There’s this advice going around saying to ignore it when a guy tries to make a move on your girl, or pretend you don’t care.

That’s stupid.

She’s your woman. You’re her man.

If she’s against you cockblocking (ie. she wants the other guy around) then you have a much bigger problem on your hands.

My advice would be to tell her to go home and pack up her things before she finds it all scattered outside.

But that wouldn’t be good advice since I haven’t done that myself.

But you best look for another woman. One who will respect you. Loyalty and such.

Final Checkpoint

All of this is my personal advice on things that people don’t realize make love relationships work.

I find that whenever I drop the ball on these points, the quality of the relationship goes down.

So consider these points as a way to boost your relationships.

However, there are some women, and some people in general, who will do you wrong no matter what you do.

It’s good to take responsibility of your life, and take in everything as if it’s all your fault.

But sometimes there really is nothing you could’ve done about it.

Some people who do you wrong do those sorts of things because it’s just the type of person they are.

Just remember that if someone can turn their back on you and walk away – you let them walk.

And always have a No Shortage mindset, because there will always be more women.


  1. Interesting take on relationships Rich. I agree with you. There’s a give and take that’s important and yes, cuddles are super bonding because we know that it’s not what guys typically want to do after sex. LOL So it’s appreciated. The hobby is a deal-breaker when it’s more important that the relationship (and that goes both for men and women).

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