The other day I met up with the gang for sushi at a restaurant called Joe’s Sushi. We all decided to go AYCE and we had a great time joking around and chatting about random topics.
But there was one topic that stuck out to me. A girl at our table mentioned how one of our former group members had a scary crush on her.
Let’s call him Joe.
Joe was a religious guy who would act all weird whenever the topic of sex was brought up. At times it seemed like that cross around his neck gave him a boost of subtle arrogance – his favorite pass time was making passive-aggressive insults at us under his breath. Which was funny considering he was a short sack of fat who looked like he’d never lifted a weight in his life. But hey, he had a nice sports car, wore an expensive watch, and always looked like he was on his way to church.
I asked what had happened that made her block him on social media. She said that at first he was a good friend and everything, but all of a sudden he became creepy and ‘controlling’.
He started telling her that he loved her and he was always trying to talk to her. She noticed that the very moment she came online on Facebook messenger, he would immediately message her.
We all joked that he must’ve been sitting alone in a dark room. Breathing heavily, sweaty, and shirtless. Waiting for her to appear online.
When she blocked him he started messaging her friends asking how she was and where she was at.
Then I remembered his last romantic pursuit. They called each other best friends and they both proclaimed love for each other. But this girl got with another guy in the group. After that, Joe would start messaging her that he was saying things about her behind her back.
It sucks feeling like you don’t know how to attract women. And typically if you weren’t a natural, you’d have to resort to the internet to teach you how to do it. At least that’s what I did after getting shit advice from my old man.
When I was a teenager, I had asked my old man ‘how do I get a girl I like to like me back?’. His solution was to buy the girl a gift.
In retrospect, his answer was pathetic. His logic was that women who didn’t find you attractive initially would think you’re attractive if you bought them gifts and spent money on them. I can’t say that’s ever worked for me.
Instead, here are 3 basic things that women find attractive:
A physique that doesn’t look like shit. You don’t even have to be a bodybuilder. Just look fit and you will already be put ahead of the rest of the guys who don’t exercise and look like slobs.
Start lifting weights and eating properly. If you don’t have weights, then do bodyweight exercises everyday until you get access to some. If you don’t eat properly, get in your car and go grocery shopping like an adult to eat proper foods like an adult.
Have a sense of style. Aside from your body, the first thing everyone notices is what you’re wearing. Everyone is going to think you’re a loser if you’re wearing over-sized, tattered clothing. If you want to make a good impression then look good. Find out what’s trending or establish your own timeless style that compliments your body. Give women a reason to look at you.
Women tend to make a strong effort to look good. They understand that men like to judge them by how they look. They know we look at their tits and ass. And they know that they leave an impression on us based on what they wear. Why wouldn’t you think the same applies to us?
Have social experience. Face it, attractive people are going to have more social interaction than less attractive people. And if a woman feels like you aren’t on her level socially, then she is going to turn around and look for someone who is.
Remember back when I mentioned that Joe would act weird whenever the topic of sex was brought up? How do you think a girl is going to see that? She’s going to assume that he’s some sort of awkward loser.
Ask yourself this, say a girl makes a slightly rude remark to you, do you lose your shit or reply with something cheeky? Which response implies that you’re socially developed? And keep in mind that not all woman are emotionally mature or socially developed either – you should train yourself to get a read on that too.
These 3 topics are further discussed on the + Level-Up section and the Archives.
Last piece of advice, go for the girl that already likes you. Attraction is either a yes or a no. Don’t waste your time trying to turn a no into a yes, there’s a strong chance that’s not gonna happen. Instead, go for the girl who’s already making herself available to you. She’s already a yes, all you have to do is not be a Joe and scare her off.
And if you don’t like your options then you need to make yourself a better option.