The media teaches us all about a false reality. Social media shows us only the achievements of our friends, never the hard process. Mainstream media would have us believe that being good and benevolent will make us recognized as a hero. Then there is a side of mainstream media that helps fuel the immature expectations of romance in relationships.
Many women fall for this unrealistic portrayal of how relationships are supposed to work. She expects a man to chase after her and beg for her love and attention. She believes that man should make her the center of his universe. That he would be sitting on his comfy couch at home, to suddenly have her come across his mind and realize that he must have her.
He runs out of his apartment, jumps in into a cab, and yells an extra $100 if you get me to the airport in 15 minutes. He gets to the airport, runs through the terminal until he spots her and calls out her name and they run into each other’s arms and passionately kiss each other under the realization that they can’t live without the other.
What the hell is that? Don’t get me wrong, it’s insanely cute. But it’s not real life. However, women see these scenes in movies and videos all the time. It doesn’t help that social media shoves their friends’ happy moment relationship photos into their faces 24/7.
They never see that same social media couple fight or argue, just as all couples do. Media doesn’t show reality. Reality tv shows don’t show reality. Not even relationship vloggers are going to show their relationship struggles. And fake news goes around like wildfire these days.
But women refuse to believe that these fantasies are not reality. They still believe that a man is meant to serve them. They are raised with that belief. It’s called entitlement.
I’m not saying anything like make her chase you or men shouldn’t chase women or any kind of ‘game’ shit like that. I’m saying that when it comes to entitlement, the chase is made into control. The chase is unhealthy when it’s manipulation. The chase is only fun when it’s not.
Here’s the fallacy about the chase: A woman gets mad at her man. She walks away and she expects him to run after her to express his need for her in his life, or to beg for her forgiveness. She has established control over her man.
To her, that’s a normal sequence of events – it’s how she thinks she’s supposed the handle the situation.
Here’s what’s really happening. She lets herself become offended in some way. Instead of voicing herself, she walks away and feels bad for herself. Why would she hurt herself like that? Why would she put herself through that? She expects her man to chase after her. Now if he does, he’s praising bad behavior. If he doesn’t, she stews about it.
By walking away for him to chase her, she is also trying to hurt him. She’s hoping that by withdrawing her attention, he will run after her like a lost puppy.
You can’t have a happy relationship when you’re constantly aiming for control. But media teaches women that hurting herself, to hurt him, to control him – is love.
Does anything about that last sentence sound healthy?
Then she complains about not being happy. Now you would think that she’s not happy because of her unrealistic expectations of how relationships are supposed to be.
A better way of thinking about why she’s not happy is because she’s making the relationship unhealthy.
You can’t be happy in an unhealthy relationship
It’s unhealthy because she’s hurting herself by walking away instead of talking to you. She’s trying to hurt you by making you chase her. And she’s hurting both of you by trying to control the relationship.
Control in a relationship is either the result of abuse or insecurity. Someone who is healthy enough for a relationship wouldn’t use abuse tactics. Someone who is healthy enough for a relationship wouldn’t be so insecure as to beg or chase their partner.
Healthy people feel confident in their place and feel no need to assert control or take advantage of control. You do things because you genuinely want to. And you understand that you can’t control what another person does.
She’s effectively ruining what could easily be a happiness. Instead she goes all romance media, and instigates a chase – it isn’t happiness, it’s controlling behavior.
Controlling behavior is unhealthy in relationships.
Unhealthy relationships are unhappy relationships.
Chances are, she doesn’t realize that instigating these chases are unhealthy. In turn, she’s making the relationship an unhappy one. And it sucks that she’s using the fantasy given to her by the media to fuel her unhealthy behaviors. Talk about a bad influence.