I didn’t realize that I intimidated people when I go out. I tend to wear a very serious and determined face. It’s a mix between squinting your eyes and slightly furrowing your eyebrows.
When I was first told that it was my face that intimidated people, I didn’t get it.
It wasn’t until later that I had an epiphany. Not only does our body language follow our emotions. Our emotions also follow our body language.
Can you genuinely yell at someone with anger while wearing a smile? No, you can’t. There’s an immediate cognitive/physical dissonance that makes it uncomfortable.
So I tried something new. I relaxed my eyebrows as much as I could and I opened my eyes a little more than usual.
The first thing I noticed was that my face hurt a little bit because it wasn’t used to looking ‘neutral’.
Second, I noticed that my drive and determination dipped. I actually haven’t posted lately because of this.
Third, people are a bit more friendlier to me, and in return I’m more friendlier to them.
What I didn’t like
But what I don’t like is that I feel more like a man-child than a man. It’s an off feeling of vulnerability.
I also remembered that the reason I wanted to keep a rough face was so that people couldn’t tell my problem based off of my appearance.
What’s my problem? I’m too damn nice!
And a guy who looks like he has a chip on his shoulder sure as shit doesn’t look like a follower or a weenie.
What I disliked the most was the loss in my drive. I felt a dip in my determination by relaxing my face.
Imagine playing a game of basketball with some of your friends. If a determined face equates to killin’ it on the court. Then a relaxed face is like raising one of your legs back like a princess every time you shoot the ball.
What I Did Like
It changes your mood. You’re not thinking about tough times. You have a more accepting mindset.
People respond better to you. You don’t give off a the impression that you’re gonna give them a hard time. Instead, you appear more easy-going.
You won’t come off as fake if you’re being polite.
When I had any interaction, I would be polite. But my problem was that I was still wearing my cunt face. People wouldn’t respond well towards me because I seemed to be giving a positive answer that wasn’t aligned with my negative appearance.
I was always baffled as to why everyone wasn’t polite to me. Ultimately, it turned out to be an “I’m the asshole, not everyone else” sort of predicament.
How Does This Help You?
Do you have a natural bitch face? Well work on it.
In case you haven’t noticed, most of the time you say anything to anyone it’s to get their attention.
If you have their attention, that means that they have to look at you.
It helps if you’re easy to look at. Or at the very least, not looking like a hard ass.
Look in the mirror and compare how you typically wear your face. Then see if you look nicer when you relax your face.
If your face is offensive either way, then get used to wearing it in a nicer way.
If you squint – open your eyes a bit more.
Teeth throwing up gang signs? – keep your mouth closed a bit more often.
Smile! (Mouth closed even)
Here’s a little extra tidbit – smiling and happiness are closely related. Remember when I mentioned their was a physical/cognitive relationship going on with your face. Well, when you smile, you actually become a bit more happy.
If you don’t smile often, then when you’re alone – smile as hard as you can for 30 seconds.
Loosen up those smile muscles. Especially if you notice that it’s easier to frown than it is for you to smile. Hint, hint – practice positivity, a surplus mindset.
You’re gonna get good at what you do. At the very least, you should get good at smiling. Because smiling will automatically brighten your mood.
Smiles don’t follow happiness. Happiness follows smiles.
But always keep your cunt face handy – there’s a time and place for it.