The Time Has Come | LUS Year in Review 2020

This year has been a real eye-opener for many people. Personally its been the worst and the best year of my life. But there are lots of people who can't say the same.

Although I haven't written much for the blog, this year has been the best year for LUS. Many people are finding my articles online and Pinterest is a pretty decent source of traffic.

This year I released a book on mindset and self-image called Mental Freedom. While I made some sales, I took the book down because in the context of post-2020, it’s not a complete product.

A key takeaway from the book is this:

Don’t mistake your past self with your authentic self. You are not the person you were in the past—because that’s the weakest version of you.

If you confuse this with who you are now, you will miss out on life. You are allowed to be more than who you used to be

This past year I've been breaking into the tech industry and I've been doing lots of mindset and spiritual work. Both of these have kept me very occupied.

Since my personal life has been very busy, I've decided to really limit anything I publish online. However there are three projects I want to work on:

So You Want To Be A Web Developer? (How to Make $70k+ Working From Home In 6-12 Months)

Currently I work as a Front End Developer and I've already secured a position as a VR Developer starting in early 2021.

My goal would be to show people what to learn, best techniques, and tools, to break into the tech industry asap. Specifically as a Front End Developer.

It would be a 6+ article series where I show people a "Free Roadmap" and a "Paid Roadmap".

However, I get busy and tech is a topic out of the scope of this blog. So... maybe I'll figure something out.

The No-BS Guide to Self-Love (A Quick Guide to Practical Spirituality)

The same way there are people who are naturals at things, there are also people who aren't.

The same way there are people who naturally self-love, there are people who don't.

The practical how-to's exist for the people who aren't naturals and need things conceptualized.

This simple "enlightenment" guide will trump a lot of mindset material out there because it establishes the foundation of being that many people lack.

It combines a lot of psychology, spirituality, and philosophy—which is my shit.

Although this project would be the easiest, it definitely feels outside of the scope of this blog too.

The truth of the matter is that I've changed. My life is going a different direction than I imagined many years ago.

Things are getting better in ways I didn't think it would. Now all I really want to do is wrap this blog up. It's been a lot of fun, but it's time to go.

The blog will still remain online since it's a part of my history and I'm a sucker for sentimental shit. But if I make new content, it's unlikely to be published here and it won't be for a while.

On the rare occasion that I do publish new content for LUS, subscribers will be notified via email.

That Last Passion Project

I have one last thing I want to publish that essentially wraps up everything. Something I would proudly call my "seminal" writing.

But all of these things will probably continue to brew in my head for weeks, months, or even years, before I create them.

I just have more important things to do than to follow my muse.

And that's that.

Here's to the New Year of 2021 and beyond.

Until next time.
Your brother,
- Rich

How to Remove Toxic People From Your Life & Live Happier

How to Remove Toxic People From Your Life

Do you want to know how to remove toxic people from your life so you can live happier and be greater? Of course you do.

Most of us already know that we should steer clear from toxicity. But not everyone knows how to spot a toxic person or how to forgive themselves for being around one for so long.

We'll go over both of those topics. But first you need to know (1) why you shouldn't put up with toxicity and (2) why you did in the first place.

Why you should remove toxic people from your life.

As a general rule, people don't change unless their own life circumstances demand it. And when you are someone who tolerates toxicity, it's a safe bet that you won't be a source of their change.

Here's the truth you need to know -

All the toxicity you put up with isn't worth it.

Read that line again.

All the toxicity you put up with isn't worth it.

This is serious.

People who behave like this subconsciously make you believe they have something to offer.

What they deliver is underwhelming and the value you’re holding out for doesn’t exist. Their toxicity and superior attitude is unfounded. You were deceived by the act, the illusion.

You’ve mistaken a vampire for a magician.

You sat down for a drink with a vampire in hopes of learning tricks-of-the-trade and a magician’s secret.

Only to realize you’ve been drinking their poison straight out of your glass. While you poured your own life’s blood into theirs.

Before you learn how to remove toxic people from your life, you must remind yourself that the world is better than you think.

Answer the following two questions honestly:

(1) Are you a kind-hearted person?
(2) Have you been around cool, decent people?

If you can honestly say that deep down you're a good-hearted person, there's a high chance you attract narcissists. That's right, you attract narcissists.

You may have been brought up to follow their lead. The same way they've been raised to take your lead. Both being on opposing sides of the social spectrum due to unconscious programming.

When you're frequently around toxicity, you forget that you’ve met many cool and nice people in your life. Toxic people are capable of leaving big impressions on your idea of humanity like that. Even worse, they leave you with shitty ideas about yourself.

This is why they are toxic. This is why they are "spiritual vampires".

How do you know if you’re around a toxic person?

Rate your interactions on a scale of 1 - 5
1 = Toxic | 5 = Healthy

This idea of rating your interactions comes from this article on Mike Cernovich's blog. I also highly recommend his book Gorilla Mindset.

Have you seen the dead look in people's eyes? People with "soulless" eyes are almost incapable of living in the moment. Instead they are focusing on an inner pain.

This inner pain is caused by excess cortisol and leads to depression. When you fall into depression you stop taking action.

This is why it’s important to stay away from people who leave you feeling worse in every interaction. They get dopamine for poisoning you.

You need distance. Learn to despise these people so you can have energy to move forward. Rather than spend the finite energy you have on trying to stay afloat.

How to forgive yourself, drink the antidote, and move forward with your life.

To forgive yourself you must be able to conjure up a life lesson that you can apply for the rest of your life. Otherwise, you'll judge yourself for foolishly paying a high price for nothing.

Your ego needs a takeaway from the experience to justify being in that situation in the first place. It also needs it to be a different lesson than any you've had before.

Here are some of the lessons I've learned by being put through these types of situations:

Now is the time to seriously filter the people you surround yourself with. Because if you don't, they'll give you a toxic view of the world and yourself.

After you reconcile with yourself you'll understand that wounds take time to heal. Give it time. Enforce your life lesson and stay away from the problem.

The lifelong treatment to living a happier life after you remove toxic people.

Most of your problems exist in the mind. Feelings of anger, sadness, resentment all come from stories you replay in your head.

One of the most underrated skills of all time is the ability to set the mind aside.

You can reconcile with your mind by negotiating the value you received for the price you paid. Which will help you with self-forgiveness and soul-suffocating obsession.

After you're done negotiating with the mind, it's important that you set it aside and simply be in the moment. Remind yourself that the moment is all that matters now.

When you can train yourself to set the mind aside you will free yourself from disappointing pasts and fearful futures. Instead you will be able to live more happily in the moment.

We'll go over how to set the mind aside in a future post.

MENTAL FREEDOM helps you rebuild and train your mind.

If you have trouble asserting yourself towards others, chances are you didn’t learn to think, feel, or act for yourself.

Lots of people, both men and women, haven’t been able to live up to their potential because of these mental shackles.

That’s why I created the Mental Freedom ebook.

To show you how to remove the shackles of your past, liberate your mind in the present, and give you the mental freedom you need for the future.

Check out details here.

Until next time.
Your brother,
– Rich

How to Build Powerful Habits & Become Who You Want to Be

build powerful habits levelupstud

It's important that you build powerful habits rather than fall into a bad routine.

You need to be intentional about the habits you make. Because everyone has habits. But do your habits get you closer to who you want to be?

I don't know your dreams or aspirations, but I do know that if you want to reach them you'll need to put in some work.

This means that you will need to form habits that will get you closer to your goal every single day.

This is no secret. Everyone knows this.

Then why do so many people fail? The reason why is because people try to take on too much. They try to stack on multiple new habits into their daily life. This is a reckless way to try and build habits.

When you take on too much and you slip-up, there's a high chance you will double-down on your self-sabotage and regress back to your old ways. You may even give up on the habit altogether.

So let's take a step back and ask ourselves this:

How can I stick to my new daily habits?

To answer that question you need to be aware that there are different types of habits. I like to call these small habits and big habits.

Small Habits

One type of a small habit is doing something every single day that only takes a brief moment of your time. For example, brushing your teeth is a daily habit that only takes a few moments of your day.

Another type of a small habit is modifying the activities that you already do. For example, instead of drinking soda you only drink water.

Small habits are essential to your daily life because they BUILD MOMENTUM. They serve as a daily reminder of what direction you should be going.

So ask yourself, what brief moment habits and modifications can I make to get me closer to the life I want to have?

I recommend you type all of your daily habits onto an app. This way you can turn on a repeat daily reminder if you need it. Here is the to-do/calendar app I use.

Big Habits

Small habits are also best done early in the day because they encourage you to follow through with related big habits.

One type of big habit is giving an activity a time-commitment. An obvious example is having a job that's scheduled 9-5, or eight hours of your day.

NOTE: I find that 45 minutes is a good amount of time to set aside every day to build a specific habit. 45 minutes is neither too long nor too short and isn’t too difficult to arrange.

If you’re looking to maintain a habit, I suggest 25 minutes. By the time you’re maintaining a habit, you’re proficient enough to be very productive within those 25 minutes.

Another type of big habit is one that requires you to hit a daily target objective, regardless of how long it takes. An example is forcing yourself to read 10 pages of a book per day, or forcing yourself to make X sales a day.

Big habits can feel like a big drag. However, they tend to be the essential habits that make the biggest difference.

Ask yourself if you can handle all the habits you're trying to build.

Be honest with yourself – how many do you really think you can manage every single day for a month?

Let’s be real! The easiest habits to maintain are modification and brief-moment habits. You can apply many of these habits daily without much resistance or burnout.

The habits that are troublesome are the timed and objective habits. Why? Because you’re either learning, creating or imposing yourself in a direct hands-on manner.

Small Habits = Low Effort
Big Habits = High Effort

Building habits is a process!

Big habits aren’t easy to build if you take too many on at once.

If you're not a particularly busy person, then you can probably work on building two to three big habits every day. Of course, less is better and more likely to be accomplished.

If you’re a very busy person, then it’s best to focus on only building ONE new big habit. If you try to do more, chances are you’ll crash a burn.

Most importantly - Ask yourself if what you’re building is really worth the effort.

How to Know When a Habit is Built

If you already hit the gym many times a week, chances are you don’t feel right if you take too many days off.

This is because a habit is successfully built when you don't feel right for not doing it.

Nobody talks about this! When a habit is done being built, stop worrying about it!

Once a habit starts to feel like a natural part of your lifestyle and who you are, stop building what's already built and start building your next habit.

weight loss build powerful habits levelupstud

Now I don’t know your life. But chances are you have some obligation that your life revolves around. Maybe it’s a job, your family, your business, etc. This regimen was made with your obligation in mind.

I’m not here to do a complete life rehaul. The only real change you should see is in the mirror and on the scale. However there are three tiny habits and three big habits you must have in your life.

The good news? One or two of those big habits are something you’re already doing. I’ll explain later.

The bad news? You should already know about calories and understand that you must put yourself in a caloric deficit every day.

To make it simple, ask yourself what your target weight goal is, then multiply it by 10. The answer is the max calories you can consume a day.

Example: You want to weigh 160lbs. That means 160 x 10 = 1,600. So you will consume a maximum of 1,600 calories a day.

You must hold yourself responsible for maintaining that calorie restriction. This regimen will help you do that.

Build Powerful Habits for Weight-Loss

Now some of these habits can be checked off a to-do list in a matter of seconds. While the others will take time out of your day.

You must do each of these tasks every single day. ZERO COMPROMISE.

Fat-loss is, has, and always will be, a result of CONSISTENCY.

Let’s go over the three smaller habits first:

3 Small Powerful Weight-Loss Habits

 Take a progress picture every day. Every single day you will take a picture of yourself shirtless. This is how you’ll measure your progress over time. It doesn’t matter what time of the day you do this. It can be first thing in the morning, mid-day, or late at night. The only thing that matters is that you take the picture every single day.

 Take a fat burner pill every day. Every single day you will take a fat burner pill. It doesn’t matter which brand, as long as it has many reviews that say it works. Here is the burner I used. You will take one pill every single day. Taking more than one is entirely optional. You may notice that the best time to do it is first thing in the morning. You may also notice that you have to skip your morning coffee since the pill will give you all the buzz you need. I’m not telling you how to take it. It’s up to you. The only thing that matters is that you take a fat burner pill every single day.

 Drink a jug of water every day. Every single day you will drink a jug of water. This means that before you call it a day and fall asleep, you will finish your entire jug of water. This doesn’t have to be a gallon of water a day, but it can be. It just has to be a relatively big amount of water you drink every day. For example, a 2 liter of soda is a relatively big amount of liquid. So if you can find a bottle that can fit 2 liters of water, use that. Get your own big jug, bottle, or container you will drink your water from so you have a sure idea of how much you will drink daily. Here is what I used. The only thing that matters is that you drink a jug of water every single day.

Now we just went over the smaller habits. Each of these can be done or started at the beginning of your day.

The benefit to crossing these tasks off your to-do list first thing is that you build MOMENTUM.

These habits also make it easy to establish daily CONSISTENCY as you progress.

Here are the three bigger habits:

3 Big Powerful Weight-Loss Habits

 Go to work/school. This assumes you are a student or have work that brings you money. You will continue to do this every single day, unless it’s your day off. Since your life revolves around this, it’s going on this list. After you finish work/school you will cross this off your to-do list. If you don’t have work/school for the day, cross it off your to-do list.

 Exercise 45 minutes every day. It does not matter if you exercise indoors or outdoors. You will exercise for 45 minutes every single day. This means every day you will put a timer on your phone for a full 45 minutes and perform physical activity. The physical activity does not matter, but it must be physical. You can lift weights, jog, pilates, yoga, walk, bodyweight exercise, etc. You can even perform one single exercise, like seated band abductions or kettlebell swings, for 45 minutes. It does not matter what the physical activity is, so long as it’s physical and you do it for 45 minutes every single day.

 Another 45 minute habit of your choice. This is a necessary placeholder habit. It’s necessary because people eat when they have too much free time. However, this habit can be anything you are already doing. It can be doing homework, building a skill, spending time with family, or even playing video games. Ideally it’s something that you already do (if you don’t have much free time) or something you should do (if you have too much free time). It doesn’t matter what the habit is, but you must do it a minimum of 45 minutes a day and it can’t mess with your weight-loss. If you don’t have any ideas, it can be preparing food (grocery shopping and cooking count toward the 45 minutes).

If this habit is something you do regularly, but you have the ‘day off’ from it, substitute it with another habit for the day. Like all the other habits, cross it off your to-do list upon completion. It does not matter what the habit is, so long as it doesn’t mess with your weight loss and you do it for 45 minutes every single day.

How to Safely Choke Your Partner During Sex

properly sex choke your partner woman

A man must know how to safely choke a woman. Because all women have some sort of interest in BDSM and a desire for uncontrollable orgasms.

Why Do Women Like to be Choked During Sex?

Because a woman wants a man who can dominate her. By choking her you display the dominance over her that she craves.

Psychologically she loves this display of power. She wants to be overpowered by a strong, 'dangerous' man that makes her feel vulnerable and feminine. As it enhances her sexual arousal.

Physiologically she gets a rush of dopamine and endorphins when you choke her and restrict oxygen to her brain. I'll explain more below.

Physically her body responds to the "pain" as pleasure. With proper timing she can experience an out of body orgasm in a crossfire of pleasure and emotions.

Most women loved to be choked. So the matter is less about 'does she want to be choked?' (although you should be sure first).

The question is, are you man enough to dominate her?

How to Properly Choke Play Your Woman

Like most men, when I first started choking a woman during sex I was doing it completely wrong. I would grab her neck and push the webbed part of my hand into her throat.

That is not how you do it.

When you make the mistake above, you are actually crushing her trachea, or windpipe. Which is dangerous.

To properly choke her you need to squeeze the two veins (carotid arteries) on both sides her her neck.

properly sex choke your partner woman

When you squeeze the carotid arteries you're cutting off the blood flow that goes from her heart to her brain. The loss of oxygen and increase of carbon dioxide results in head-spinning exhilaration that heightens feelings of pleasure.

The best way I can describe choking a woman in writing is to imagine how you'd use your thumb and fingers to squeeze the cheeks on her face. Do the same thing to her throat.

Practice squeezing for her carotid veins and you'll get better at it.

But be careful.

You won't come back from bdsm choking sex.

You won't want to go back to normal sex after choke sex and dirty talk. It's just one of those things. Sort of like a BDSM sex gateway drug.

In case you didn't know, BDSM includes a variety of kinky sex. This includes the dominant-submission dynamic that choke sex falls into.

What I mean by sex gateway drug is that people who share intense sexual fantasies with each other will have better feelings of connection, novelty, and happiness in the relationship.

This is because masculine men and feminine women want to dominate and be dominated. So when you start to have kinkier sex, don't be surprised when vanilla sex doesn't do the trick anymore.

Experiment with sex toys and be open to new ways to sexually express yourself.

Do it because she adores your acts of dominance. It turns her on when you have your hand on her throat and you sternly whisper in her ear, "Who owns you?"

She craves that sexual desire from you. And if you want to really take it to the next level, I recommend you restrain and buckle her down to your bed so you can really show her who she belongs to.

You can get a bed buckler here.

Check out

How to Stop Being a Nice Guy

stop being a nice guy levelupstud

By now you have a keen sense of empathy for how others feel. So you constantly avoid behaving in a way that’d hurt their feelings, even if they don’t do the same for you.

Your problem is that empathy is meant to be a tool and you’ve tricked yourself into believing it’s a personality.

You’ve got to ease up on the empathy. You need to stop being so considerate of others. Stop believing that being nice is some kind of answer to a good life.

Being nice 24/7 is always humbling yourself before people who don’t deserve it. It’s giving people permission to steamroll and humiliate you because you haven’t understood otherwise.

Being nice is accepting that you will get the short end of the stick in this game we call life.

If you’re tired of being the nice and useful idiot, then you’ll be happy to know that fixing your issue comes down to one simple rule:

Don’t be considerate.

When you live your daily life you must remind yourself, “don’t be considerate”.

Because when you’re actively being nice you are doing the most. Cut that out.

When you decide to live by the words don’t be considerate, you will filter out all of your nice guy behavior.

You will notice when you are going out of your way to help someone you aren’t responsible for helping. Don’t do it. Ignore the thought and act for yourself only.

This isn’t a switch of behavior where you’re actively inconsiderate and shit all over other people.

No, it doesn't need to be like that.

You will simply filter your behavior so that you pay no concern to other people. This isn’t a bad thing. Because by "disregarding" other people you learn to put yourself first.

If you're listening to your favorite music in your car and you pick someone up, don’t change the station for the other person. Keep listening to your music.

If someone tries getting your attention and you’re doing something, don’t stop what you’re doing to answer their call or text. Ignore them and maybe answer after you finish.

When it’s time to get something to eat and you feel like having a burger but the other person doesn’t, go get what you want and join them later if they don’t want to come.

If you don’t be considerate of others, you will learn more about your own value and things you like.

You develop a sense of your own world. And when you aren’t considerate - you bring the other person into your world too.

You aren’t leading. You are just being. Doing as you would without considering others.

The same way you’ve been dragged into other people’s worlds while you were the nice guy.

You’ll realize how much free value you’ve been giving to everyone. You learn that you have more value than you thought and your usefulness deserves a price tag.

You also make the realization that being considerate of others is making someone special. When you treat everyone like they’re special, no one is special. People will take advantage of this treatment.


So there you have it. Understand that being nice does not matter. The idea that good things will eventually come of it is a lie someone pushed onto you. But it’s not how things work.

If you want things to go your way, then you need to see reality for what it is and adapt to the truth. And if you want more for yourself than you need to do what you’ll realize everyone else already does:

Don’t be considerate.

Until next time.
Your brother,

Scott Press VS Arnold Press (Transform Weak Shoulders Into Rock-Hard Boulders)

scott press arnold press

The Scott Press is easily a better exercise than the Arnold Press.


Because the Scott Press was designed for the very first Mr. Olympia, Larry Scott, himself. In fact, it's how he turned his poor weak shoulders into rock-hard boulders.

The reason why the Scott Press works so well is because it targets all three parts of the shoulder at once. The front deltoid, middle delt, and the rear.

scott press is better than voerhead press

Now I personally prefer to focus on strength training my shoulders with the overhead press. But when it comes to stimulation and growth, the Scott Press blows all the other shoulder exercises out of the water.

So then how do you perform the Scott Press? Well I'll show you in just a moment.

But first I want to mention the distinct difference between the Scott Press and the Arnold Press.

The Arnold Press has a HUGE range of motion. And even though it can work, you'll see down below that it only stimulates 2/3 of the shoulder heads.

Meanwhile, the Scott Press has a much smaller range of motion and hits all three parts of the shoulder. Performing partial exercises like this requires a weightlifter to be more cautious with his movements.

NOTE: People don't realize this move is not a press at all. It's simply a shoulder girdle retraction and elevation.

Before showing you how to perform the Scott Press, I should stress that this is a movement that requires good technique with a weight you can manage. Be sure to check your ego. That being said, let's move forward:

How to Perform the Scott Press

  1. Stand with a dumbbell weight in each hand
  2. Lift weights up to your shoulders and lean slightly forward
  3. Lift the weights from the sides of your head to 80% of the top of a shoulder press movement.
  4. Make sure to focus on pulling your elbows and shoulders back while slightly tilting your head forward as you push upward.
  5. Lower the weights back down to the sides of your head
  6. Repeat the movement in a controlled "swinging" manner.

Quick Look at the Arnold Press

scott press vs arnold press

You start with the weights in front of your chest facing each other. Then you move your arms way laterally while twisting your hands so your palms face forward. Lastly you push the weights all the way up, then you bring the weights back down and in front of you.

The Arnold Press stimulates both the front and middle parts of the shoulders. It also stimulates the upper pecs because the weights are moved from the front of the body. But it doesn't hit the back of shoulders like Scott Presses do.

Scott Press Training Tips

Use light weight with higher reps. Since Scott Presses are essentially a variant of Arnold Press partials, you may feel inclined to use heavier weights. This is a mistake. The Scott Press was designed for deliberate movement and time under tension.

Keep the pinkie higher than the index finger. Having a higher pinkie finger gives you a more stimulation because it allows you to more easily swing your elbows to the side and rear for the "arc" movement.

Do not lockout. Again, the entire purpose is time under tension. While the Arnold Press allows you to rest when you bring the dumbells in front of you, the Scott Press is meant for continuous movement throughout the set.

Check out heavyclubtraining.


will l-theanine help anxiety about nootropics

Will L-Theanine Help Anxiety?
– What is L-Theanine?
– My Experience
– The Beginner Stack

L-Theanine (r-glutamylethylamide) is an amino acid you can get from drinking green tea or as a supplement.

L-theanine can easily cross your blood-brain barrier and it’s able to increase your alpha brain waves, which enhances concentration and mental relaxation. It’s also able to help increase your brain’s GABA, dopamine, and serotonin.

This is why many people who use nootropics recommend l-theanine for those who seemingly experience episodes of anxiety, depression or melancholy.

However, I personally prefer 5-HTP and I’ll tell you why in moment. And don’t worry, it’s not necessarily because l-theanine isn’t a good nootropic -because it definitely is.

Let me point out more benefits of l-theanine first:

On top of all of these benefits, l-theanine is also a very safe nootropic to take. Dosages can reportedly range between 200-400mg for up to 1000mg per day.

Taking high dosages of l-theanine is something I highly advise against. Here’s why:

Will L-Theanine Help Anxiety?

My Experience with L-Theanine

When I used to take l-theanine by itself I would be sure to only take one or two pills of 100mg each in the morning.

I know this sounds like an incredibly small amount (and it is) but it’s because when I take l-theanine I always feel it within 30 minutes.

And it hits hard.

I relax to the point of near laziness. My stress slowly evaporates and my body starts giving me resistance. Mentally and emotionally I’m completely calm and cool. Everything is as good as gravy.

But doing anything is like moving with an extra few pounds on my limbs. My body is working against what I want.

The worst part is that when I first started taking l-theanine, I didn’t even notice these effects were taking place. I would assume I had a bad night’s sleep and go about my day.

The effects were too subtle for me to notice. So the first few times I didn’t even realize l-theanine worked!

That was until I started driving…

I noticed that every single day I took l-theanine my driving got worse. A lot worse.

It raised my IDGAF levels so high, I was having close calls and nearly getting into accidents regularly.

I was so relaxed, I was unable to stay cautious of other drivers. On top of that my reaction time dropped.

It took me three times before I caught on that the l-theanine was fucking up my driving ability.


That’s not to say that I promote driving when you’re under the influence of any substance. But with other nootropics I’m still capable of being a safe and reliable driver.

So if you’re wondering is l-theanine will help anxiety, my answer is a reluctant yes. Only because it’s not one I would regularly use.

L-Theanine & Caffeine Nootropic Stack

The l-theanine + caffeine stack is the most widely known beginner stack in the nootropic world.

But I still don’t take it.

Most nootropic users actually point out that it’s easily the most accessible and effective minimalist stack there is. And I agree with that opinion.

When I experimented with the stack I felt the incredible combo of both alertness and relaxation. Which I think everyone should at least try it once.

When you first stack the two you want to keep the measurements at a 1:1 ratio (100mg : 100mg). Which is typically a pill and a cup of coffee. See how it feels and then modify the ration (ex. 2:1) based on whether you want more focus or relaxation.

Personally, I can’t handle the high level of relaxation l-theanine gives me. I drive around pretty often and it’s not worth the risk.

But even though may be sensitive to it doesn’t necessarily mean you will.

I still think that everyone should try it out with caffeine for productivity purposes. And if you like it – fantastic. It might turn out to be your new favorite nootropic.

But you’ll never know unless you try it out for yourself:

>> You can get L-Theanine (100g) here

Feel free to share your experience in the comments below!

I personally prefer use Gorilla Mind for productivity, focus, and decreased anxiety instead.


about nootropics for women

Why is it that men are more aware of “smart drugs” and nootropics than women?

Since 2017, women have earned 57% of all bachelor’s degrees and 59% of all master’s degrees (src)

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, there are now 109,000 more women working than men. (src)

Women have become the most educated and productive in the United States, moreso than men in recent times. And doing so isn’t easy.

On top of their educational and professional lives, women also have to strike a balance with their social and family lives.

Women have a lot on their plate and the stresses that come with it has contributed to women being twice as likely to be taking anti-depressants than men. (src)

So what does this have to do with nootropics?

Since women are taking the bigger role in society, someone must point out that women’s brains are distinct from men’s brains.

According to research, women who experience stress report having more physical and emotional symptoms than men.

Fluctuations in her hormones, such as estrogen and progesterone, heightens her stress response and makes her more likely to experience certain health issues, such as:

Nootropics Help Counteract Physical & Emotional Stress

Nootropics are supplements that enhance your brain’s cognitive performance; focus, memory, motivation, relaxation, etc.

These substances do this by interacting with the processes of your brain. Not unlike drinking wine.

The best part is that these supplements are widely available and can be typically bought over-the-counter, without the need of a prescription.

There are plenty of nootropics you can find and purchase off the shelf of your local drugstore. We’ll list which ones you should take in just a moment.

What Are the Benefits of Nootropics?

The benefits you get depends on the nootropic you consume.

Although the general reason to take nootropics is to improve your life performance and well-being, the specific categories tend to be:

Focus. The ability to concentrate on a given task and put you in a state of flow.

Productivity. To boost cognitive abilities via increased wakefulness, creativity and increased resilience for stressful situations.

Memory. Improve short-term memory and enhanced ability to recall memories.

Mood. Decrease anxiety and increase sense of well-being by manipulating neurotransmitters; dopamine, serotonin, etc.

Energy. Increase energy levels by manipulating oxygen delivery to brain, mitochondrial ATP, etc.

Sleep. Promote relaxation and hastens ability to fall into high-quality sleep.

Check out The Nootropics Guide

5 Best Nootropics for Women to Enhance Mood, Energy & Confidence

Here is a list of nootropics that can help you if you are dealing with stress, low energy levels, anxiety, and a low sense of well-being.


L-Theanine is a natural compound that can be found in black tea, green tea and certain mushrooms.

What L-Theanine does is affects certain chemicals in the brain, such as seratonin and dopamine. These chemicals are what influence your mood, emotions, cortisol levels, and stress.

When you take l-theanine you may expect the following benefits:

You can find L-Theanine on the shelves of a drugstore or you can purchase it online here.


5-HTP is an amino acid that your already body produces naturally.

Within your body 5-HTP produces serotonin, which is associated with depression, sleep disorders, weight gain, and anxiety.

When you take 5-HTP you may expect the following benefits:

I personally like using 5-HTP, so if you’re interested I highly recommend you read this.

You can purchase it online here.

Rhodiola Rosea

Rhodiola is an herb grown in the mountain regions of the eastern part of the world. Eastern countries use rhodiola to treat depression, anxiety, and fatigue.

Rhodiola is widely used as a dietary supplement for its ability to help the body adapt to stress.

When you take Rhodiola you may expect the following benefits:

You can purchase Rhodiola online here.

Bacopa Monnieri

Bacopa Monnieri is a staple plant in traditional Ayurvedic medicine. It has been used by medical practioners for centuries to help boost brain function and aid with epilepsy.

When you take bacopa monnieri you may expect the following benefits:

You can purchase it here.

Gorilla Mind Rush

Gorilla Mind Rush is actually a blend of nootropics, such as l-theanine and bacopa monnieri. So it has the benefits of multiple supplements all-in-one for a fraction of the cost.

When you take Rush you may expect the following benefits:

If you were to only choose a single nootropic supplement on this list, I couldn’t recommend this one highly enough. You can read my review on Gorilla Mind Rush here.

You can purchase it here.

More Women Need to Know About Nootropics for Women

Now that women are more empowered than ever it’s important that they know about these supplements that can help make their lives easier.

Thankfully the nootropics for women listed above are a great place to start and are also specially tailored for the female brain as well.

Please share this article with your friends so we can bring more awareness of these cognitive enhancers to the world!

A Stud's Physique | How to Lose Weight, Look Great, Get Strong, Build Muscle

Are you tired of struggling to lose weight? Telling yourself this is the year you're going to lose that belly fat - only to fail?

Friend, I've been there for a long time. Many times really.

When I was in my teens I struggled to lose weight. I was morbidly obese and I hated how I looked. Until one day I told myself, "If I don't lose this weight, I'm going to kill myself"

Within 6 months I lost 60lbs.

When I was in college I explored bulking and cutting. I'd gain fat and lose weight 4 consecutive times. I tried and tried to build a muscular body. But all I ever got was some strength.

It was only thanks to one-year of strict bulking that's given me most of my muscular gains.

Then as I approached my mid-twenties, something happened -

I could no longer lose weight as easily as before.

My metabolism was shot from my reckless mistakes and slowing down with age.

So for about a year I couldn't get myself to lose any weight. I was frustrated with myself.

Like you, I had all the knowledge I needed to lose weight. But I still couldn't do it. I wasn't getting results and it wasn't until later that I knew why.

Although I seemed to be doing the correct things physically, I kept making the same mistakes mentally.

Life kept getting in the way and I was too willing to let it happen. Until one day I stumbled on that missing ingredient.

Within thirty days I lost 20lbs.

Include picture of weightloss

I did it by following a simple program that anyone can follow - including you.

All it takes is a mental breakthrough that many people this day-of-age are incapable of tapping into.

Will this simple program require exercise, dieting, and fat-burning pills?

Yes, the method I used to get the results above required easy exercises and a one-rule diet. However, you don't need fat-burning pills.

But hold on! I will also show you how I lost 60lbs within six months without having to follow a strict diet or exercise (although it's best you do).

Will this program also teach me to build muscle?

Absolutely, this beginner/intermediate program shows you how to build muscle and strength with an approved selection of exercises.

This program also teaches you the best way to approach your first bulk so you don't get fat and fluffy like I did.

Here's a picture of me on my very first fatty bulk -

Picture of 19 year old me benching, squats, deadlifts

You don't want to get stronger without the muscle that comes along with it.

A Stud's Physique will show you how to avoid gaining unnecessary weight.

As a BONUS, you will also get two exclusive guides!

How to Bust Through Your Overhead Shoulder Press Plateau

The overhead shoulder press exercise is the hardest exercise to progress in the weight-room. For months I couldn't figure out how to rep more than 125lbs or do more than one single at 135lbs.

But after I implemented this pain-in-the-ass strategy, I saw myself making progress frequently. In 30 days I went from repping 135lbs for 1 rep to 12 reps. My quick guide will show you how.

How to Get A Thicker Neck in 30 Days

The easiest way to look more masculine is (1) losing fat and (2) having a thick neck. In my quick guide, I will show you how to get a thick neck in as little as thirty days. This will require a small equipment purchase (not through me).

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You get the world's simplest fitness guide for ONLY $9.99 which includes two bonus guides.


piracetam about nootropics

Here we will learn about Piracetam, the first nootropic synthesized. I’ll go over what it does, how it works, and why it might not work for you.

What is Piracetam?

Piracetam is the first nootropic drug recorded to be synthesized in a lab. It was created by Belgian pharmaceutical group UCB by Dr. Corneliu Giugea in 1964. The original purpose of piracetam was to help people who suffer from cognitive degeneration (such as dementia and Alzeimer’s).

Studies for these applications proved to be favorable. This led to more substances being synthesized and discovered. The substances became known as “racetams”, with piracetam being the most widely known and researched. Its popularity has led Piracetam to be one of the best known nootropics for beginners.

Why You Should Try Piracetam

Piracetam is easily one of the first nootropics anyone should try if they are looking to experiment with cognitive enhancement.

What piracetam does is increase blood flow to the brain to increase oxygen levels and better manage your brain cells’ ATP synthesis and mitochondria.

The way piracetam interacts with your neurons actually boosts your alertness, comprehension ability, memory, and concentration. It also has anti-pain benefits.

I still remember my first batch of Piracetam many years ago. I got a big clear bag and had no idea how to measure it out. You want to take about 1500mg to 4800mg a day, split into about three dosages.

Eventually I got the hang of it and started my first stack (piracetam + phenibut). Of course this was back when I didn’t know anything about nootropics.

I will leave a short quote of some of my piracetam thoughts below:

Piracetam allows to you focus much more intensely.

Whenever I use it I feel it within 15 minutes to an hour.

Piracetam makes you very attentive and puts you in a good mood. When I take it, I feel as if I’m getting a warm hug and I find myself smiling for no reason.

In a one-on-one conversation, you will feel intensely intrigued in what the other person has to say. You will make them feel like the most important, interesting person/people in the room. And they love that.

Overall, I enjoyed it but I don’t have much to say about it since I moved onto more racetams pretty quickly.

Why You Shouldn’t Try Piracetam

When I started using piracetam several years ago, there were several things I didn’t particularly like about it:

Piracetam requires much bigger dosages than other nootropics. While noopept dosages were only milligrams, a regular dose of piracetam measured out into grams. It’s not even the more potent than many nootropics with smaller dosages.

Piracetam is also one of the nastiest nootropics I’ve ever tasted. It’s been over a year since I’ve tried it but I can still remember the unpleasant, synthetic taste on my tongue.

Piracetam has side effects such as brain fog, irritability, and tiredness. Now I personally have only gotten headaches and irritability off of piracetam. But it was much earlier on when I wasn’t more careful measuring out my dosages since piracetam is pretty brain-friendly.

Next Read: Gorilla Mind Rush – Brainstorm in a Bottle


This is a detailed review of my favorite nootropic, Gorilla Mind Rush.

I’ve been using Gorilla Mind Rush since it first released about three years ago. I bought a batch upon its release and I still use it to this very day. So I believe I’m very qualified to teach you how it works.

Here is a list of topics we’re going to cover about Gorilla Mind Rush:

Feel free to skip down to whichever section you want. Let’s get started:

What is Gorilla Mind Rush?

Gorilla Mind Rush is a nootropic that promises unmatched motivation, massive concentration, and intense drive for ultimate productivity. It’s a cognitive enhancing supplement that intends to deliver sustainable, all-day focus.

The Gorilla Mind product line comes in two forms, Rush and Smooth. The difference being that Rush is a stimulant blend and Smooth is a non-stimulant blend.

Since we are taking a close look at Gorilla Mind Rush today, you can find a list of its ingredients below:

gorilla mind rush ingredients

The suggested usage is that you take 3 – 6 capsules throughout the day, preferably on an empty stomach for the best results. However if you’re new to nootropics, start with 1-2 capsules to your evaluate sensitivity.

How long do the effects last?

According to the Gorilla Mind website, the effects can last beyond 6 hours. Although you might not notice the effects taper off since the comedown is very gradual after you peak around the two or three-hour mark.

Chances are you won’t even notice it’s been six hours since your first serving, I’ll explain more about that later.

How long will a bottle last?

A bottle of Gorilla Mind contains 90 capsules and a single serving size is 3 capsules. However, Gorilla Mind Rush is mostly intended for those who want to hammer down on their productivity. These consumers are likely to consume 3-6 capsules per day. It will last them 15 to 30 days of use.

If you’re not someone who tries to be massively productive or you’re sensitive to stimulants, you might find the 3 capsule serving size excessive. In this case, a bottle can extend beyond 30 days of use.

My Personal Experience

gorilla mind rush

Does Gorilla Mind Rush Really Improve Studying & Creative Work?

I personally like to take two pills of Gorilla Mind Rush on an empty stomach early in the morning before studying, coding, or doing any creative work such as writing. Then about an hour or so in I’ll take a third pill.

By the time I take my third pill, I’ll notice my focus enhance and my thinking becoming clear. This is great for reading or when you’re studying coursework.

However, there is a caveat.

When you do work that requires thinking first thing in the morning, you’re not mentally warmed up. Although your concentration does improve, your comprehension will only be up to par if you’ve already had a mental warm-up.

What I mean is this – I like to study as early as I can, but I always have to re-study the first two or three topics because my brain isn’t fully awake yet.

After I get my mental juices flowing I’m able to comprehend all topics I study from that point on. Gorilla Mind Rush makes focusing and learning easier BUT that does not mean you get to skip any morning mental exercises you may need.

(A small detail, but I think it’s worth mentioning)

As for creative work, I’ll occasionally let myself get distracted by creative thoughts, or moreso my memories. If you’re someone who likes to ponder ideas, you’ll actually really like this because your ability to recall memories is incredible.

A lot, and I mean a lot, of articles on my main blog are thanks to the enhanced creativity I get from taking Rush.

Usually about 3-5 hours in I’ll notice that my energy levels are noticeably higher and I can feel a light “buzzing”. As you gain a tolerance, this buzz will become less and less noticeable (take a few days off).

Since you’ll be so engrossed with your work, you won’t even notice several hours have flown by. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that Gorilla Mind Rush is “flow in a bottle”.

– Enhanced Focus
– Increased Mental Clarity
– Improved Comprehension
– Better Memory Recall
– Enhanced Creativity
– Buzzing Energy Levels

Will Gorilla Mind Rush Enhance Mood & Sense of Well-Being?

The short answer is yes, Gorilla Mind will make you feel overall better.

For example, one day I remember stepping out to take a breather and empty my mind. I was upset about something and I was hoping to walk it off.

I’d forgotten that I’d taken 3 capsules of Rush about an hour earlier. But see, initially my mood wasn’t getting better. Only my focus was improved.

So I used that focus to try and be in the moment. I focused on mentally narrating my actions to cancel out the thoughts in my mind. Sort of to distract myself.

About another 40 minutes in I felt my anxieties melt away and my mood improve. I felt good, really good. A bit warm, but in the nicest way you could imagine. Specifically in my legs.

I was no longer thinking poorly because my mind was focused on being in the moment. Any negative emotions I had fell into the background. I felt incredibly content and pleased with myself.

As I write this right now, I can feel those same effects of Rush. However at this instance these feelings of well-being aren’t as potent as I described above. I can only assume this is because I’ve been very focused and productively writing blog posts for the past several hours.

– Enhanced Mindfulness
– Decreased Anxiety
– Improved Mood
– Mild Euphoria
– Improved Sense of Well-Being

Can Gorilla Mind Rush Work as Pre-Workout or Appetite Suppressant?

You will notice that most people who review Gorilla Mind Rush use it during some sort of fast. There’s a good reason for that.

See, it’s not simply because they want to feel the best that Gorilla Mind has to offer to push out a review. No way! That would mean they’re posting misleading reviews based on a single experience.

(By the way, you do feel Rush better on a fast. However, as long as your meal isn’t huge you will still feel plenty of the benefits at about 70% more-or-less of your fasting optimal.)

The reason why people fast when they take Rush is because it’s an astoundingly good appetite suppressant. I would even argue that it’s better than the top-quality fat burners I reviewed.

When you take Rush it’s very easy to disregard any cravings you may have because you know it will disrupt your focus and enhanced mood. Why ruin a good time?

My latest batch has actually made it incredibly easy to diet and eat only one meal a day. And I feel absolutely fine. In fact, I feel great!

do want to mention that when you use this supplement that you may notice your mouth get a little dry. This is no big deal, just make sure to drink your water and stay hydrated.

Now would I recommend using this supplement as a pre-workout? Sure.

I mean you can use it. It works. But there are supplements that would work better. Especially the Gorilla Mode pre-workout I intend on reviewing soon.

Although Rush can provide you a nice bump of energy, I personally didn’t really notice my workout feel much better viscerally. I assume that’s because Gorilla Mind is intended for the mind.

However, I can recommend it if you workout at the end of a long day. Specifically because it does promote wakefulness without any crash. It’s also convenient and portable in its pill form.

– Appetite Suppressant
– Decreased Cravings
– Increased Wakefulness
– Zero Crash
– Convenient & Portable

Is Gorilla Mind Safe? Answer: Yes

Gorilla Mind is safe to use as long as you take it responsibly.

However, I took my own liberty to experiment with Gorilla Mind Rush and I can undoubtedly say, it is an incredible nootropic blend as is. I don’t recommend you stack it with anything other than coffee.


As of the time of this writing, I’ve stacked Rush with two major drugs and got the following results:

Marijuana: Both times these two have been stacked were completely on accident, where the effects of Mind Rush hadn’t worn off yet. The way marijuana stacks with Rush will give you some of the worst, discomforting trips you’ll ever have. Trust me, don’t do it.

Phenibut: When I stack it with phenibut my senses become overloaded and my mind becomes too mentally encumbered to make sense of things. Again, do not take Gorilla Mind Rush any differently than advertised.

Don’t Use For Multiple Consecutive Days. Since I’ve taken Gorilla Mind Rush, I noticed that taking it daily (3 pills minimum per day) for multiple days straight (10+ days) will leave me with sort of a mild erectile dysfunction. When I stop taking it for up to two days everything goes back to normal.

The Gorilla Mind website clearly states “It is best to rotate Gorilla Mind Rush and Gorilla Mind Smooth and not take either for multiple consecutive days.” —– This is my mistake.

You can read their Disclaimer here.

How to NOT Waste Gorilla Mind Rush (& Use It Wisely)

I’ve used Gorilla Mind Rush in a variety of activities. The activities you generally don’t want to use Rush for are activities that don’t require strict attention.

For example, I’ve taken Rush (and Smooth) before events like visiting huge outdoor gatherings, social outings, and dog walks at the park.

In each of these instances my mood simply elevates and I pay more attention to the podcast or person I’m listening to. Nothing remarkable.

I suggest you don’t spend your Rush supply on these easygoing activities. Although your mood may improve and you feel good physical sensations, your output from these activities are the same.

You won’t get more from a walk on Rush than a slightly nicer walking experience. There are also better nootropics out there to help with socializing.

To put it bluntly, Rush is best used on work that requires focus.

Final Verdict? Gorilla Mind Rush is the Legal, Real Life NZT-48 Pill from Limitless

Many nootropic and smart drug users, including myself, actually prefer Gorilla Mind over other strong substances like modafinil. Many of us are actually very impressed that something over-the-counter works this well.

If you found my review helpful, please feel free to use my link to make your purchase here. If you’re still skeptical, you can also try out their “to-go Rush” samples for a taste of what you could be missing at a very affordable price.

Thanks for reading.


Why Sales is Reality (The Good, Bad, & Ugly)

why sales is reality
Subject Line: Why Sales is Reality (The Art of Making Stuff LOOK GOOD and SOUND GOOD)

The clueless still believe in all the moral lessons from children’s books and movies. They believe that honesty is the way.

Authenticity gets you very far, but complete honesty doesn’t do the job. You either learn to use your words or practice explicit deception.

The real truth is always uglier than you’d like. The good and bad is completely subjective, almost insignificant.

But ugly is ugly is ugly. We all instinctively know what ugly is. Reality, can be quite ugly.

Yes, this seems like a pessimistic view. But it’s actually quite optimistic. Because it’s all about showing the good in things, giving people hope and aspirations, solutions.

SALES is all about making something LOOK GOOD and SOUND GOOD.

It’s also about knowing your customer and how you can help them with their current situation in life.

Like I said earlier, you either learn to use your words correctly or you learn to practice outright lying.

I have a saying -

“A salesman is someone who sweet talks and ultimately delivers.

A conman is someone who twists his tongue and doesn’t deliver.”

The catch? Sweet talk is a twist of the tongue. You will practice deception either way. The difference? You will follow through with your word, or you won’t.

I actively despise people who don’t follow through on their word. Their deceit is destructive, while my deceit is constructive.

Do you sense the hypocrisy?

Let me give you examples from my personal life. You may not like the ugly reality of it all, but it’s the truth.

How I Would Sell to Customers

Before the crisis and before I sold B2B, I used to work cellular retail sales (I sold smartphones, tablets, watches, services, insurance). I remember every month we had to hit a profit and sell specific products.

Every single month we had to sell tablets. But here’s the thing: (1) Nobody buys tablets unless they have kids, and (2) these were old, crappy, albeit profitable, tablets.

Now everyone sells differently (it’s an art) and it’s not uncommon for salespeople to leave out important information or outright lie. (Lots of hurdles)

Let’s say I need to sell a tablet and a customer walks in. They have premium insurance on their devices. I know that there’s cheaper insurance that’s just as sufficient. They don’t.

Let me walk you through my sale:

I’m servicing the customer and I see the opportunity. So I excuse myself to the backroom and prepare the tablet I want to sell them.

When I get back to the customer I compliment their account and tell them there’s a special offer for them.

I hand them the tablet and say, “usually this device is $450 and adds $19 to the monthly bill. But when you take your tablet tablet today, instead of adding $19 to your bill, we can bundle it so that it will only be $3 + tax.”

Imagine how that deal feels!

This is an expensive $450 device. Even though you don’t care about tablets, if it’s $450 it MUST be good.

And because of [compliment], instead of paying an entire $19 every month, I ONLY have to pay another $3.


I haven’t lied to them. I told them it’s $450 and I’ll bundle it (change insurance) so it only adds $3 + tax. See, I just made it sound good.

“Yes, I’ll take it!” - Customer

Now I’m self-aware enough to know that I have a soft voice and a demeanor that people trust. The customer talks to me and they know they’re getting good customer service.

Now I need to explain the fees. But I approach it indirectly.

“Now whenever you add a new device to your account there is a fee” -

This is where I ‘sell the sizzle’ and build more trust. I lower my voice and say,

“But I always tell my customers that you can call customer service on your phone and they usually waive the fee. But you didn’t hear it from me.”

The customer FEELS GOOD that I’m looking out for them. And it’s true, they usually waive the fee.

Does it make me look bad on the back-end? Yeah, maybe. But it’s part of the game, and at the end of the day the sales director only cares that I make the sale.

It’s risky business however you put it. Gotta be ballsy enough to get creative. Have moxy.

I’ll admit, it’s fun possibly throwing myself in the line of fire to build trust with a stranger.

To people who’ve worked cellular sales before, I may be a little extra. But I only had one customer return with complaints.

I used plausible deniability tactfully and I delivered on my promise.

My coworkers? They had customers return with complaints like clockwork.

I have many more scenarios, but there are different aspects I want to cover.

A Quick Secret to Sales

I forget where I read this from, but it’s completely true. You will notice that most people who are aware of you are already 80% sold or 80% not sold.

If anyone finds the source, I’d be happy to link to them.

This means that a prospect already made the decision that they’re looking to purchase something (or they’re not).

Your job is to make it as easy as possible for them to make that purchase. This means making the product LOOK GOOD and SOUND GOOD, while downplaying any issues presented along the way.

This concept applies to dating as well. When you see a man/woman, you are either attracted or you’re not.

You are at 80% and, like all sales, you need to sell the difference.

Assuming you are 80% sold, you need to sell that last 20%. You just need to say the right things and pull some triggers.

More importantly - don’t mess up your own chances. By saying or doing the wrong things, you can actually UN-SELL yourself.

Based on how you present yourself, the buyer is already making positive assumptions about you. Don’t break those assumptions.

Sensible people who want to be sold make it easy for you. People who don’t want to be sold make it harder for you.

Here are two quotes to consider:

“It’s either a FUCK YES or a FUCK NO.”

“When there’s doubt, there is no doubt.”

Again, if you can source it, I’d be happy to link.

Ponder the two quotes above and how they fit into your life.

A Con Artist Doesn’t Deliver

She used to be a dancer? Stripper? I don’t remember. But she was easily one of the sexiest women I’ve known.

While also the most disrespectful.

Why was she a disrespectful con artist? Because she couldn’t deliver on what she was selling.

I knew she was attracted to me. She looked and talked to me differently than other men.

Why was she attracted? Because I can sell myself pretty well (good with words) and more importantly, she knew I’d owned properties and lived an interesting life.

Here’s the most disrespectful part -

This is a woman with lots and lots of options. Did I care that she looked at me with gold-digging eyes? Not at all. She was a single mother with one kid. Makes sense. She can also get any financially-sound simp she wants.

But when I asked for her number, she said no. You could tell she wanted me to keep trying. But nah.

See, when I asked her what she did on her time off, she said “I spend my time off with my kid and I go to church”.


She’s selling herself as a good mother and a faithful, religious woman. But is she?

My gut instinct common sense told me she wasn’t a woman of faith. Maybe her personal history and lifestyle tipped me off..

But that same night as I was finishing a smoke and got into my car, I heard a woman yelling distastefully in her car.

“He knows he’s a fucking boy right?!! Not a little faggot!! No, you make sure he -“

It was our holy woman shouting obscenities in her car during a phone call (that the entire block could hear).

You see, I make sure to only sell something I can deliver while making a good-sounding pitch.

But a con will deliberately sell something they can’t deliver while making a fairy-tale pitch.

This is not to trash on women, but it’s a very good example of a con artist. Both men and women can be con artists that only have the intention to TAKE and NOT GIVE.

Where do you think you’d be if you dated someone like that? Or married?

I’m sure the sex would be wild. But... she probably wouldn’t make it worth the trouble.

Con Artists Helped Create the Great Recession of 2008

The Great Recession is thanks to a lot of shitty salespeople (cons).

Let me explain this as simple as possible. It won’t be the exact situation, but it’s the correct concept for an easy understanding.

We all work because we have bills to pay and mouths to feed. Bankers are no different.

There was a time when banks gave out subprime mortgages to people.

Let’s say a regular mortgage payment is $3000. But for the first several months that mortgage payment is only $1000 per month.

What bankers would do is give out these mortgages to people WHO WEREN’T QUALIFIED (capable) of making the regular mortgage payments.

Instead of fully informing their customers, bankers made their quotas by selling customers on the more affordable, initial payments.

Why? 🎵 Because we got bills to pay and mouths to feed, and nothing in this worlds for free 🎵

(These buyers were promised a property, but they’d be delivered a shit show)

So people pay their mortgages in blissful ignorance. Unprepared for the larger payments to come, refinancing their homes, etc, etc.

Then once those larger mortgage payments hit, all hell breaks loose. The bubble pops and shit hits the fan.

Now there’s more to it all, but that’s a basic idea.

The blame doesn’t fall entirely on bankers trying to make a living. The Fed could’ve, and should’ve, stepped in. But it’s all water under the bridge.

You need to consider reality and deliver on what you sell.

If you haven’t noticed by now, all hell breaks loose when you don’t deliver.



Listen, do you want to get results? Do you want to get what you want?

Then consider this quote and ponder it:

“All’s fair in love and war.”

If you want to achieve a result, don’t be afraid to get it by any means.

The “good” way and the “bad” way doesn’t really matter. It’s too subjective and grey.

But the ugly? That’s easy to spot because it means someone couldn’t deliver what they were selling.

Still don’t get it? Don’t worry, the next example should make it clear.

Selling Yourself in a Job Interview

The person conducting the interview will judge as much as they can about you in a negative light. They are looking for any excuse to deem you as ‘un-hireable’.

What does this mean? It means-

If you have any gaps in your resume, it’s because something is wrong with you.

Iff you have a poor opinion of past employers, it’s because something is wrong with you.

If you don’t give them permission to call past employment, it’s because something is wrong with you.

All of your reasons, whether true and righteous, be damned.

So what do you do? Well, you lie.

You can try to be honest and good and true. But in situations like this, you need to tell them what they want to hear.

Sorry. It’s reality. Consider yourself lucky if you find life to be otherwise.

But let me also put a different spin on it.

Companies lie on their job postings ALL THE TIME. They’re selling themselves to you.

You can go on Indeed right now and I guarantee you’ll find a bunch of bullshit postings.

The bigger, more well-known companies aren’t as bad BUT you will always find some bullshit somewhere in the system.

Maybe you’re assigned a task that isn’t your responsibility. Or the job isn’t what they advertised.

It happens all the time. Nothing is perfect. Sometimes it’s not even worth complaining about.

But they said what they had to say to lure you in. Now you have to say what they wanna hear so you can get through the door.

Here are a few tips to help you out:

Minimize any gaps in your resume. There should be no gaps on your resume before your last job. The longest you let your gap get from your last job should be a month. If you feel you can pull it off, say it’s still your current job. Background checks ONLY check your criminal record 99% of the time, so they won’t see your entire employment timeline.

Change your job title. Don’t use the job title that a company gave you. Make up a job title that accurately represents the duties you performed. This gives employers a better AND more accurate impression of your value and skills.

Use friends as reference numbers. If you had a piece of shit boss who wouldn’t put in a good word for you, then you should absolutely put a friend as the contact number. Tell your friend the boss’s name and what were your responsibilities. Obviously your friend should make you sound like a good worker who stayed with the company until very recently.

The person interviewing you wants everything to be as perfect and disney as possible. Anything that takes away from that ideal will hurt your chances extensively.

So is this bad? That depends.


Once you’re in, you’re in. The only thing that gets you kicked back out is if you can’t perform the job.

If you can do the job - then you’re in the clear. Everything is good.


Because the job interview is all about making you LOOK GOOD and SOUND GOOD.

It’s all about making it as easy as possible for people to buy.

Good? Bad? What does it matter if you got the job? You made it easy to give the company what they’re looking for (just as they did for you).

It’s only ugly when one of the sides don’t follow through.

- Final Word -

Be you? Be honest? Then be damned.

Go ahead and imagine that there’s a universal disney law to be your honest self. We all have that hope.

But at the same time, you must also accept that you must break this disney law with everyone who breaks it with you.

Because the disney game can’t compete with the devil’s game. And you can’t win if you don’t play the game they are playing.

Here’s the best advice my old man ever gave me: “Tell them what they want to hear (not reality).”

Until next time.

Your brother,


How to Get a Thick Neck in 30 Days

thick neck

This past month I’ve been getting into direct thick neck training. Although its only been a month, I’ve noticed my neck feels puffier due to increased blood flow, a slight increase in vascularity, and my shirt collars are fitting tighter.

So its been my personal observation that the neck actually grows fairly quickly when you give it special treatment. Even though its only been a month, I’ll continue to train it until my neck has respectable size.

In the meantime, I’ll show you my neck routine for this past month. So you can grow your neck in as little as thirty days. All you need is the following:

Neck Training Routine

I’ve decided to keep neck training as simple as possible. This means you will only be performing two neck exercises for twenty minutes every single day for 30 days.

The neck exercise you will be doing is the neck curl and neck extension.

Watch the following videos: (1) Neck Curl/Extension (2) Neck Safety

However, you may stumble upon other neck exercises as well. Don’t worry about those other neck exercises. The neck curl and extension exercises are more than enough.

You want to start off with a light weight. For example, I started with 7.5lbs. When you start at a light weight, you don’t need to worry about reps and sets.

At a light weight, focus on performing the movements slowly with time under tension. This way you learn how to perform the neck movements safely and get the neck used to weight resistance.

When you work your way up to 20lbs+ you will focus less on slow movement. Instead you will perform the neck exercises in a controlled manner for multiple sets of 10+ reps.

For your neck training you will do as many sets as you comfortably can within the duration of twenty to forty minutes.

You will do this every single day for thirty days. If you feel neck pain or you feel you neck is being overworked, take two days off from neck training.

Neck Training Tips

Make sure your neck harness is on properly. When you put on the neck harness, check a mirror to make sure it’s on straight. This helps keep the weight evenly distributed to your neck and prevent possible injury.

You don’t need to go very heavy. Personally, I only went so far as 25lbs for up to 20 reps per set. A self-inflicted neck injury is the last thing you want. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

Try to keep your neck training around the same time every day. This means you will have twenty hours between each neck training section. Although this isn’t a hard rule, it’s suggested so you don’t strain you neck by training it too often (ex. two neck training sessions within 12 hours).

Warm-up your neck before neck training. It’s important to warm-up your neck to avoid neck strain. Typically you can skip a warm-up if you perform neck training in the later part of your day. You can warm-up your neck by turning and bending your head in all directions for a nice stretch.

3 Reasons to Get a Thick Neck

A thick neck protects you from being sucker-punched. When you see a fighter deliver a knock-out punch, the receiving fighter stumbles and falls to the ground. The reason he got laid out is because the force of the punch was enough to shake the receiver’s brain within his skull until he lost consciousness. By having a thick neck you give your head much more stability.

A thick neck helps intimidate weaker men. If you compare two men, a thick neck and a thin neck, you will easily assume the thick necked man can beat down the other man. Well, the man with a thin neck thinks the same thing. Everyone assumes that a thicker neck means you are more athletic and more physically capable of taking someone down. This possibility makes people hesitant to take you on.

Women find a thick neck to be very masculine. A man with a thick neck simply looks more physically capable than most men. Women who are more feminine appreciate this sort of aesthetic on a man because it’s such a rare masculine trait to have. Whether they realize or not, a thick neck is an attractive quality, similar to big arms or a v-taper.

How To Break Through Overhead Shoulder Press Plateau

How To Break Through Overhead Press Plateau

For the longest time my overhead press was stuck around 130lbs. No matter how much rep-work or deloads I did, my shoulder strength wouldn't improve.

It wasn't until I said "fuck it" and tried a new strategy that I finally saw some real change.

The strategy is to dedicate an entire 30 minute session to shoulder overhead press.

You might be thinking - what the hell?

And I get it.

But if you've really been struggling to improve your overhead press for some time now, it's best you hear me out.

Now you can still do your regular routine. But this is going to take a separate 30 minutes of your day.

My recommendation is to have your overhead press sessions two days on, one day off. Take two days in a row off if you feel your body needs it.

If you're exercise routine is a back/chest/leg split, then you'd be having your overhead press sessions on the same days as your leg and back sessions.

This is because you want to give your shoulders adequate rest time and upper-push days, like chest days, won't help you.

How To Break Through Overhead Press Plateau

You will get to your work area and start a countdown of 30 minutes. You will fit in as many, or few, sets it takes to fill your 30 minute countdown.

Here is a quick layout of the Shoulder Press Session:

Your first 2 sets will be increasing warm-up sets of 5 reps each. Take as little rest time necessary.

Your working weight is the weight you are currently stuck on.

You will aim for 5 reps per set on your two or three working weight sets.

If you fail to reach 4 or 5 reps, you will take a three to five minute rest period. If you reach all 5 reps, take as little rest time you feel necessary.

These last sets will be heavier sets and lastly single sets.

For these ending sets it's perfectly fine to perform your reps similar to a Push Press.

This Push Press is essentially the Overhead Shoulder Press, but with a slight bounce from your legs; you want the minimal leg bounce necessary.

Every set you will incrementally increase the weight on the bar.

You want your body to get used to handling weight heavier than your working weight.

Eventually you will reach single sets. These are sets that are so heavy, you can only perform one single rep.

This is perfectly fine.

Your last set should be an attempted single Overhead 'Push' Press.

This is essential because you want your body to get used to holding heavier weight over your head and a controlled (not slow) negative.

Here's a sample illustration of a session

Warm-Up Set - 115lbs - 5 reps
1 to 5 minute rest

Warm-Up Set - 125lbs - 5 reps
1 to 5 minute rest

Working Set - 135lbs - 3 reps
3 to 5 minute rest

Working Set - 135lbs - 3 reps
3 to 5 minute rest

Working Set - 135lbs - 2 reps
3 to 5 minute rest

Heavy/Single Set - 140lbs - 2 reps
3 to 5 minute rest

Heavy/Single Set - 145lbs - 1 rep
3 to 5 minute rest

Heavy/Single Set - 150lbs - 1 rep
3 to 5 minute rest

Heavy/Single Set - 150lbs - 0 reps
DONE or use lighter weight

Why does this work?

You're giving the overhead press your complete focus. Since you're body isn't tired from previous movements, you're able to give your shoulders the attention, time, and energy they need for the lift to improve.

Your overhead press form is going to improve. The special treatment you're giving this movement will result in increasingly better form and technique. Especially since it's costing you an additional 30 minutes out of your day.

You will improve your mind-muscle connection. You'll notice when you're shoulders are taking an unnecessary beating. In turn, you'll avoid overworking your shoulders so you can make consistent progress without any hiccups.

Additional Tips

Your shoulders should be the very first muscles you workout. When your shoulders are given priority they will be at their strongest. This is opposed to working your shoulders after an intense body workout.

Use a barbell for the overhead press, if possible. I find that a regular barbell is the best way to perform the exercise. Fixed barbell weights tend to jump the weight up too much to be useful. Curl bars aren't as easy to manage, especially when you start pressing 135lbs or more.

You need to increase the weight very incrementally. This means you will only bump up the working weight by 5lbs (2.5lbs each side) at a time. You can also use 1.25lbs plates - I never used them but it stands to reason they'd be incredibly useful with this movement.

Grip the bar very, very firmly. The more intentional you are with your grip, the more control you will have with the movement. The straighter you can make the bar path, the easier this movement will be.

Make sure you shrug at the top of the movement. To avoid shoulder pain make sure you shrug at the top of the movement. This avoids rotator cuff issues because when you shrug you make space between your arm and AC joint. When you don’t shrug, you don’t create space - hence shoulder impingement.

There is no need for additional shoulder exercises. The only other shoulder exercise you need for direct strength carryover is the push press movement.

Your overhead press strength should be half of what you lift for bench press. Obviously this rule isn't cut and dry. But it does give you an accurate idea of whether or your OHP is below or above where it should be. When I first used this strategy I was below where I should be. Nowadays I'm about where I should be. And you can be too.

Recap - How To Get Through Your Overhead Press Plateau

  1. Dedicate time to your overhead press.
  2. Warm-up and practice your form and technique.
  3. Get your body used to pressing heavier overhead than you're used to.
  4. Use the Push Press modification; use minimal bounce as necessary.
  5. Have as many progressing overhead shoulder sessions as possible.

Check out heavyclubtraining.

Why People Procrastinate Their Entire Lives Away

Why People Procrastinate

“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.” - T. Pratchett

People make the mistake of putting off things for the future. We think that we'll always have the time to come back to it in the grand scheme of things.

But honestly, we take our time for granted. For most people, that time never comes.

The view from halfway down is always full of regrets - when you realize what opportunities you could’ve taken, but didn’t.

The reason you procrastinate is because you either lack desire, or you lack self-belief.

Some people believe that they desire something but they don't. They don't understand the difference between "want" and "desire".

The feeling of "want" isn't a strong feeling. "Want" doesn't warrant action and it isn't more compelling than comfort.

"Desire" is a feeling that demands action. It's a necessity to your life and you are more than willing to got after it.

For example, I've always "wanted" a tattoo or to tint the windows on my cars. But I never do it. I just think it'd be nice to have.

Some could say this is a matter of laziness or a lack of energy.
Instead I'd argue that laziness is simply a lack of desire.

Every day there are people who go to jobs they hate to make a living. They go because they see the necessity of going to work and desire to make money.

Whether they're tired or not doesn't make a difference.
Because desire stems from the mental state of necessity.

For example, there was a time when I was obscenely obese. I looked in the mirror and I hated myself and how I looked. So I made the decision that if I didn't lose this weight, I would kill myself.

In six months, my obsessive desire made it happen. Until then I couldn't stop thinking about my goal until it was accomplished.

Because to me, I didn't "want" to lose weight - I needed to lose weight.

When you desire something, more than life itself, you will work to make it happen.

Everyone has something that they want more than life itself. But that something, that desire, is never acted upon by most people.

That desire is your calling.

The calling is always calling you. Because no matter where you go, it wants you to follow it.

It flirts with your imagination via your inner voice and intuition.

This is the Universe reaching out to you. It's trying to invest in you and create the best reality it can through you.

But people don't listen and people don't follow through with it.

They lack self-belief.

The world has more faith in these people than they do in themselves.

Anyone will pursue something if they have the self-belief that they can do it. Nobody will pursue something if they have self-doubt.

Life's opportunities end where your self-doubt starts. Because when you doubt yourself, you believe all your efforts will lead to failure.

People are afraid of the darkness because they don't know what lies within it. But there is a difference between how a self-believer and a self-doubter handle the darkness.

The self-doubter doesn't trust himself to make it to the other side. He doesn't see himself capable of "surviving" the follow through.

Meanwhile the self-believer does trust that he will make it to the other side. To him, it doesn't matter if he's never done it before or if he's scared.

Instead the self-believer looks at darkness dead in the eye and then takes a leap of faith.

I sat in my car thinking of all the horrific things I was told would happen if I left home and never came back.

Nobody out there is nice. Nobody out there gives a shit about you! Only I give a shit about you.”

You're a piece of shhit and you'll be living in the fucking streets.”

You guys are my bitches and you're lucky to have me.”

You're stupid and you don't know shit! You don't even know how to wipe your own ass.”

You're all fucking worthless.”

You will never make it.”

Then I thought about my brothers that I'd leave behind. This whole time I thought I'd be able to take them away from this place.

But I couldn't.

My brothers were the only reason for me to stay. But I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stand having another nervous breakdown in the bathroom anymore.

I couldn't stand constant internal trembling, snapping sensations in my head, and laughing and crying maniacally to myself anymore. Looking at my pitiful self in the mirror.

Guilt. Shame. Feelings of failure. The voices telling me to pick the devil I know over the devil I don't.

With tears in my eyes, I punched the steering wheel. Then I punched it again. And again.

Until I cried out “NO!” and hit my head against the wheel.

Tears falling down my face.

Dammit... MY LIFE... BELONGS TO ME!”

I turned the key in the ignition. Took a long look at the dark road ahead of me. Then I drove off and never looked back.

The person with self-belief can be just as scared of the self-doubter. But something in him believes he can make it.

So he takes his leap of faith and he realizes the truth -

You transform in the face of fear.

Your mental program may tell you "don't do this" and "you can't do that".

But when you actually confront your fear, your mental program is faced with reality - You Can Do It.

The sensation of fear in your body isn't fear. The sensation in your body is your being reprogramming itself.

Because holding onto all that self-doubt no longer makes sense.

So don't doubt your gut instinct. Don't ignore that inner voice.

It's leading you to the path of who you need to be.

Hey guys, thanks for reading this preview of my next project! This is just a draft of a part of what I'm making, but I thought I'd share it with you guys.

If you liked what you read, please subscribe to my email list where I send out one newsletter every month and I occasionally send out information on projects such as this.

Please feel free to leave your feedback in the comments below.

Until next time,

Your brother.

- Rich

y people procrastinate. a why people procrastinate. why people procrastinate.


Why You Have To Be Your Own Doctor

be your own doctor

It took me two years to learn this simple life lesson. But there are still people who have yet to learn it. This is for them -

Back in 2016, I lived in a college dorm that had a campus gym very close by.

I'd been to the gym regularly for three weeks now as part of my program. When one day, in the middle of my leg workout, I hear something pop.

I felt like I was struck with a metal bat and my body instantly lost strength. Luckily, I somehow managed to rerack the weight.

But my back was fucking killing me. So I grabbed my stuff and walked back to the dorms in shame.

The next morning it got worse. I couldn't bend back and forth or side-to-side.

If someone were about to come up and punch me in the face, it'd hurt less to take the hit than it would to move out of the way.

The girls at the dorm told me to go to the doctor. I told them that I'm invincible and that I don't need a doctor.


The next day while they were out I went straight to the doctor.

This first visit he told me to get rest and the pain should go away. He was sure it was just muscle soreness.

... Right.

A week goes by and my back feels worse than before. Hell, I feel emasculated by how much it pains me to move.

This made it difficult to walk, lay down, stand up, or even sit down to take a shit.

The second visit to the doctor was at Kaiser. He determined that it was just muscle soreness and gave me medication for the pain.

For another month I lived with this discomfort. Sure the meds helped, but I still had trouble bending and moving.

Eventually I got used to the daily pain and nearly accepted it as a way of life.

I was a twenty-year-old guy with the mobility of an old man!

On my third visit, I finally had a doctor recommend something useful - physical therapy.

So I went to physical therapy.

When they called me in I was led to a private room to lay on a thin, blue bed.

Then in comes the nurse -

Smooth cocoa skin, long black hair, soft voice, luscious lips covered in dark red -

His name was Carlos.

Nice guy.

After a month of physical therapy nothing got better! Nothing these doctors recommended fixed my issue!

I lived with back pain every single day for two whole years until I figured out how to fix it myself.

The point of the story is this -

You have to be your own doctor.

Doctors aren’t doctors for you and me. They don’t give a damn about you.

They only care about the money lining their pockets and making their student loan payments.

Hell, asian families only push their kids to be doctors for the money and prestige. Helping people is hardly an afterthought.

So what should you do? You must take control of your own health.

You have to make it priority #1 because your health is no joke.

5 Real Ways to Take Better Care of Your Health

Eat a natural diet. If it doesn't come from the ground or an animal, it's not good for you. Natural foods will satiate you and make you feel good.

Processed foods won't satiate you and get you addicted to sugary foods. This addiction causes you to eat more processed foods, which wears down your digestive system more than natural foods ever will.

Get your weight under control. If you are morbidly obese or fat, it's your duty to get to a healthy weight. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for others.

There are people who want to see you live a long life and being fat leaves you open to thyroid issues, diabetes, and other diseases.

Exercise your body and keep active. Get into the gym or play sports. If you can't do that then go for a jog, take a hike, or get exercise equipment.

Whatever gets you trim and fit. Because when you're trim and fit, you are in better physical condition than 70% of people in the United States.

Research and fix your body's weaknesses. If parts of your body aren't working the way they're supposed to, or you experience regular discomfort, go the extra mile and do your research.

Most times you have a muscular imbalance that you need to fix. Do the work and get what's necessary to fix it yourself. No pill or injection will be able to fix that.

Strengthen and protect your body. Honor your body like the precious asset that it is. Make yourself a force to be reckoned with by adding muscle to your frame and learning self-defense.

Get serious and be your own doctor for your own personal health.

What happens if you don't become your own doctor.

The year is 2019, I'm at work in the middle of a sale when I suddenly get a phone call -

"Come to grandpa's! Something's happened-"

Turns out that my grandfather's stomach has been in pain for months. Just like me, he went to the doctor's office right away to get checked.

On his first visit, they told him he must've eaten something bad and that the pain would pass.

Weeks later he still had pain and it was getting worse.

On his second visit, they told him he must've gotten the stomach flu. So they did nothing.

As the weeks went on my grandfather started getting slower, he lost his appetite, and lost weight quickly.

One day his stomach was in excruciating pain. So my uncle took him back to the doctor.

On his third visit, it was the same run-around. The staff tried to shoo them out the door.

My uncle refused -

“No! He’s in pain! You guys help him! He’s been coming and you guys don’t do anything! I’m not leaving until you give him something!”

So they took him back in.

That's how they found out he had cancer.

He was going to die.

When I got to his room his senses were already leaving him.

He was laying in his bed. Barely alive.

His eyes were moving, but he couldn't see.
His mouth open, but he could hardly breathe.

Family gathered in the room.
Faces full of tears.

My grandfather's oldest brother was at his side. He held onto his arm to comfort him.

I showed no emotion. I kept a thick face as I watched my mother tend to her dying father.

Everyone said what they had to say before he left this world. And when everyone was finished the room got quiet.

All you could hear was the rattle.

Be Your Own Doctor Recap

No matter how many times I'd gone to see the doctor, they were no help.

I was in pain for two years.

No matter how many times my grandfather had gone to see the doctor, they were no help.

He was in pain until he died.

Now I'm sure there's a reason for all of this, but my message is the same -
You must make your health your priority.

Doctors have their responsibilities and you have yours. And even if they could help you, they can't save you.

The doctors didn't do anything to help my grandfather live.

But they did help him die.

Take it upon yourself to take care of your health and body.

It's your life and your body.
Nobody else's.
Protect it and honor it.

Until next time.

Your brother,

- Rich

How to Survive Hell (Leave Abuse & Reclaim Your Soul)

How to Survive Hell (Leave Abuse & Reclaim Your Soul)

Understand that abuse is something best left in the past. Its happened and it's done. Nothing can change that.

But today I've decided to share part of my story. The part of my life that I take great pride in overcoming, but take great shame in admitting.

I only wish to share this because there are those out there who may need to read this. Perhaps to move out or to move forward.

As much as I hate to admit, I understand a great deal about abuse. I consider myself someone with a lot of insight about it.

I hope my story can impart some of those insights.

The sins of the father will be visited upon the son.

My brothers and I were hiding in our apartment bathroom for safety.

The SWAT team covered every window in the complex. My aunt was horrified when she saw one of them aim his rifle in our room.

They were looking for my father. But he was nowhere to be found.

Earlier that week my father pulled a gun out on a woman. He threatened to shoot her if she ever told my mother about the affair.

He always had a talent for getting away with things. And he always took things too far.

I remember my brother and I wanted to play outside longer than we were supposed to. As punishment he made us lick the sweat off each others' backs.

There was a time he beat me down and humiliated me in front of my family. I felt so ashamed, my body wouldn’t move and all I wanted was to disappear.

When he was around, he always reminded us -

"You fuckers are lucky to have me."
"My life would be better without you."
"You guys are my bitches."

This was typical.

It was especially hard on my mother. She was hit, spat on, isolated, degraded, and imprisoned.

He'd throw her clothes out in the mud and pour milk on her side of the bed for amusement.

There's a lot more that I won't share with you reader. But that's the gyst of my childhood.

I'm gonna jump ahead into my teen years -

You can't have a relationship with abusive people.

One day I was kicked out of the house for "walking too slow"... (It makes as much sense as it looks...)

After two weeks, he and I met up at my aunt's house. He wanted to pick me up and treat everything like it didn't happen, like it was no big deal.

But I wasn't about that. So I got him to sit down in the kitchen with me to talk.

I told him ~

"I don't know why you act this way. But you're always angry. I didn't do anything wrong. But I want to have a normal relationship with you. I want us to start over. Can we start over?"

The entire time he was completely uncomfortable. Arms crossed and avoiding eye contact.

He did everything he could to dodge the question. He refused to give me a straight answer. Instead he continued to blame "my behavior".

Eventually I gave up. He refused to take responsibility.

He wouldn't agree to my offer. Shit, it's like he couldn't.

After that pitiful excuse of a reconciliation, he let me come back home.

But in the back of my head, I knew:
"We’re not safe here."

Understand: You can't build anything with someone who is indifferent to you. Sure enough you can't build a relationship with someone denies responsibility and blames you for their actions. Especially if the person is easily offended.

Abusive people make you dependent and break you like a dog.

If I didn't obey, he'd threaten to kick me out. In retrospect, I realize I was groomed to be a slave.

Keep in mind that I grew up being told that the world was a scary, fucked-up place.

As a kid I was always scared. I feared school, jobs, the "real world", people, and most of all - leaving.

Life was walking on eggshells.

Hearing his car pull up in the driveway made me physically sick.

I'd get punished for anything that he could interpret as disrespect.

I remember he asked me a question and when I answered I showed my palms (body language for honesty) and he screamed at me because it was "disrespectful".

Kicking me out the house was the usual threat. He'd say it multiple times per week.

If I didn't fix the roof -
"there's the door".

Or if I didn't wash his car -
"there's the fucking door".

If I didn't make him tea -
"then take your shit and leave".

My reality wasn't based on real life. I no longer trusted my eyes. I no longer trusted myself.

No matter how much I worked, I was always called a lazy piece of shit. Despite always working.

"You guys are lucky to have me. None of you would make it."

We were grateful.

He didn't teach me how to be a man.
He taught me to be a slave.

My mind was so broken that, and I mean this with the utmost sincerity -

If I watched him stomp a dog to death and I said to him,

"You killed that dog."

He could look me in the eye and say,

"No I didn't"...

... and I'd believe him.

Understand: You can't grow a good soul in a bad environment. The person of poison will work to isolate you, destroy your sense of reality, and make you dependent on them. Those mental barriers are very real. And you will lose the ability to think for yourself.

You can only stand up for yourself and leave abuse.

When he wasn't around he'd be at a house one city over.

I found out that he managed to put both that house and the one we were living in, under my name.

For months I’d pretend not to know. I gathered and prepared legal materials and I found the real estate documents.

During these months he continued to threaten me. To get me to do whatever he wanted, like the slave I was.

Until one day he made some ridiculous request, and I had enough.

"If you don't like it, then there's the door. Grab you're shit and get the fuck out of my house."

I was so tired of being at his mercy. My soul had built so much resentment over the years. I couldn't take being a slave any longer.

NO! NO! Fuck you, NO!

I pointed my finger into his face.

YOU leave! This is MY HOUSE! If you don't like it, YOU get the FUCK OUT!!

His eyes got wide, because he realized, I knew.

Understand: Resentment is permission to act and reclaim your dignity. The feeling of resentment is the strongest feeling your gut will communicate to you. It's there to let you know this person has defiled your freedom.

Leave abuse for your soul to be healthy and free.

It's been 5 years since I last spoke with my father. But I'm sure we've both reconciled things in our own minds.

And to be honest, I hadn't really thought about it in a long time now. When I look back it's as if it happened to someone else.

Like it was a lifetime ago.

What I do remember is that as soon as I left home, I felt so much better. I immediately felt lighter.

Like the weight of the world was off my shoulders.

Even when I spent nights sleeping in my car, I was happier than I had ever been in years.

It would be a long time until I got out of my hole. But I never regretted that decision.

Because if there's ever a single thing your soul cares about, more than anything in this entire world -

It's Your Freedom.

Until next time.

Your brother,

- Rich

How to Survive Hell (Leave Abuse & Reclaim Your Soul).
HSurvive Hell (Leave Abuse & Reclaim Your Soul).
How to Survive Hell (Leave Abuse & Reclaim Your Soul).