March 2, 2017

How to Not Take Anything Personally & Keep Your Cool

Back in college I was living with a girlfriend whose roommates didn’t like having me around. One morning I jumped into my car to drive to the store, and fucking lo and behold-


Needless to say, I was fucking pissed.

I asked myself: What did I do to deserve this? How can someone be this petty?

I concluded that I hadn’t done anything to deserve it and that some people are worthless cunts.

I didn’t even want to go back to the apartment for my bag because I knew I would go off on these human pieces of garbage.

But I made sure to look as if I wasn’t frustrated. I wanted to appear dignified and unaffected.

The reason I decided to be dignified was because I knew that they wanted me to squirm.

I wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction.

Then I laughed, because I realized something - I really shouldn’t take it personally. Hell, I realized I shouldn’t take any bullshit personally!

Here's what I understood:

They were already unhappy with themselves

You don’t just dish out misery on someone else for no reason. You do it if you're already emotionally unstable to begin with.

They're frustrated because they feel they have no control of their situation. Consequently, they attack someone else to try and establish that control.

Causing you visible distress makes them feel in control.

Don’t react to that unless you really want to.

Because acts of pettiness makes the performer look like a fool to everyone who sees.

However, if you see no consequences getting back at them (legal mainly, social if you care) then go for it.

In my situation, I wasn’t allowed to be there in the first place. So as much as I would’ve liked to get back at them, the legalities were much more likely to overlook them and tarnish me.

They were already squirming, so they slashed my tire. I chose not to squirm.

Be happy to leave them behind

Not even two hours after discovering what happened I was already laughing. Here’s what I said:

“I am so happy we’re getting out of here. I’m so happy to get away from people like that.”

Although replacing my tire was an inconvenience, that was just part of the ticket to leaving all that negativity behind.

It was an unexpected cost I paid to realize that leaving is, and always has been, the right thing to do.

It is ALWAYS better to leave petty, negative people.

Your quality of life goes up exponentially in regards to your emotional and mental health.

I’ve done it many times and I haven’t regretted a single instance. Even when it left me with nothing but some clothes, some cash, and my car.

In the end, you always grow and become happier. You realize that they were holding you back.

As for them, who cares?

Know that their misery is not yours

If your best friend came up to you and offered you a box of candy as a gift and you decided you didn’t want it, you would say:

“No thank you.”

You’d smile, and they’d understand and walk away.

You didn’t take that box of candy. So it doesn’t belong to you. The gift still belongs to your friend.

Now think of it like this:

A person you don’t like craps in a box and offers it to you.

What would you say?

…Well, you wouldn’t say anything. You’d give them a funny look and walk away.

Who does the gift belong to?

The point is: Leave them with their shit.

They’re holding a box of their own shit. They smell like shit now. So why would you want to stick around?

They talk shit, feel like shit, and act like shit.

They are shit.

So leave them with their shit, because you’re not like them.

Final Checkpoint

Only miserable people try to hurt others. Laugh at their pettiness and drop the person, because he or she is only trying to bring you down to their level.

You will always pay a small unexpected cost to leave these people behind. But you won’t take it personally because it’s not about you. Their actions are all about them and how they feel about themselves.

They can’t control what you do and you can’t control what they do. But you can control and decide that they aren’t worthy of your attention – that’s why you’re going to leave them to themselves.

Now you understand how to handle situations with petty weak-minded people. But why are they so feeble and easily offended?

It's because they have a mindset that you don't understand. A mindset that you could easily take advantage of.


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