I spent many nights walking miles back and forth. And I spent my days walking across campus grounds.
With no sleep, every step felt heavier than the last.
Before those tiring days, I would wonder what people thought of me when I walked past them.
But when you're so tired-
You don't care what people think
When you're tired all you care about is going your way. From point A to point B. You don't care who looks at you. Or how you appear.
Once my professor shouted "Buy a shirt!" in class. I looked up and his eyes met mine. I always wore the same beige flannel to his class. But I didn’t give a damn.
All I had to wear was stuffed inside a small luggage bag in my car’s trunk. And the days I had his seminars were my beige flannel days.
So I sat up straight with legs spread and arms loose. Because when you're tired-
You're more relaxed
It's all your body wants to do. You'll naturally make yourself comfortable and cozy wherever you are. You will spread out and take more space. And your voice will deepen.
It's a simple byproduct of not giving a fuck about what people think. Because there's no anxiety to make you cautious about invading someone's personal space.
Instead, you feel like you deserve this space. And that's because when you're tired-
It's easy to deny people
It's a lot easier to deny an invitation when you're tired. Rather than when you simply don't feel like it.
Hell, it becomes so easy to ignore people who are talking to you. Because your mind and body are so beat, you hardly recognize their noise.
But it's best not to leave someone completely ignored. Egos are fragile and to ignore someone is to invite scorn.
But the biggest reason why it's easy to deny people, is because, when you're tired-
You realize the only things you need in life
One night at work I overheard two loud African-American men. They talked about the only things you need in life.
"All you need is food, a bed, and Jesus. You hear me?"
"Yeah, I heard you!"
"What'd I say?"
"Money, drugs, and bitches"
"Ye-Naw! That's not what I said!"
But what they said is true - all you really need is:
- A roof over your head
And at the time, this was something I had to hear. Because I used to spend those long nights walking back and forth for miles.
Carrying the biggest boxes I could find. Moving the heaviest packages I could get my hands on.
Anything to distract myself from my thoughts:
How can people get away with so much?
What is she doing the days I'm away?
How much longer before I can break free from this tiring cycle?
By the end of those 12 hours, my worries would dissipate. Because at the end of the day all you care about is sleep. And when you're tired-
You fall asleep easily
That night I was lucky to sleep on the dogs' couch. It was itchy, smelly, and covered in fur. But I didn't care.
When you're tired your body will beg for sleep. But the longer you ignore your body, the less it begs. And the more it commands.
Your mind and body will manifest acute discomfort, that eats at you until you give it what it wants.
So I called it a day. I laid my body on that dirty, disgusting couch like it was a bed made for kings. And without thinking to count my demons or blessings. I quickly fell asleep.
The benefits of being tired are:
- You lose all anxiety
- You'll relax with ease
- You can ignore any noise
- Your worries will dissolve
- You will get deep sleep
So work your body and mind every day to earn the perks of a day well-worked.
It's the best way to break out of tough times.
And a great way to reward all of your good times.
Thanks for reading,